The reasons why akatsuki give tobi the rules

The sun dawned bright and shiny over the home of the assorted murderers, criminals and terrorists. Blue birds warbled their cheery tune; tulips waved their golden heads in the lush long green grass. It was a wonderful day for all creatures great and small. Mr. Happy Bluebird took a deep breath for the twittering crescendo of his son-
“ARGHH!!”
Kisame rolled out of bed at the horrified screeching that emanated from somewhere outside his room. Muttering angrily, he grasped Samehada and went into the communal lounge area that had the doors to all of the bedrooms. The loud noises seemed to be issuing from behind Deidara’s door, so he stomped over and kicked the door open.
“Deidara, what the hell are you screaming a-“, he stopped, “Huh. Interesting choice of shade.”
“Who did this to me, hm??” shrieked Deidara, standing in front of the wardrobe mirror, obviously just got out of the shower, and clutching handfuls of long, wet, and now purple hair. Kisame tried to resist the urge to grin but failed. Rows of knife-like teeth popped into view. Deidara noticed.
“You think this is funny, don’t you?” he glowered, “Well, it won’t be so funny when I find whoever ruined my awesome hair and EXPLODE THEIR ASS ALL THE WAY TO KONOHA!”
As Kisame struggled to regain control, muffled groaning came from the other rooms. Then the screaming began. Again. He sighed, and sheathed Samehada. As he shuffled back into the lounge, other people began to stagger out of their rooms in various stages of anger and fear.
“Okay guys, what’s going on? Kakuzu didn’t share out his ‘candy’ again did he?”
“No I did not you son of a…” came a muffled groan from said person’s room. Kisame cut him off.
“Why aren’t you out here and shouting mindlessly like the rest of my wonderful associates?”
“’Cos somebody’s cut my stitches and my legs have dropped off…”
“Oh.” There wasn’t much more to say to that, really. The rest of the Akatsuki were roving around the room randomly. He caught Itachi as he strode past, apparently oblivious to the noises of the people around him.
“Stop. Stop. Make it stop!” he muttered to himself. He had some headphones taped to his head, but the wireless kind so he wouldn’t feel them.
“Itachi…?”
“God, make it stop Kisame!! You can hear it too, can’t you?? Tell me you can hear it too!!”
Kisame was taken aback. The normally unflappable Itachi was looking half-crazed, and one of his eyes was twitching. An Uchiha’s eyes never twitched. He suddenly twigged it. Gently, he reached over and pulled off the headphones. Holding them up to his ears he heard a song that had lyrics such as ‘…love you…love me…happy family….’
“The Barney theme. How scary.”
Itachi looked a little embarrassed, but shook his head.
“You have no idea.”
“Um…yeah…” he turned back to the main part of the room, “Hidan, why have you got that collar around your neck?”
He regretted these words instantly. The religious maniac shuffled over to him with wild eyes.
“Jashin-sama appeared to me in the night and said I was the worst fu- ARGHHH!” He writhed in pain momentarily, then continued, “The worst follower he’d even have because I taint his air all the time, so he gave me this collar to stop me saying sh- ARGHHHH! – stop me saying stuff I shouldn’t…”
“And you knew it was Jashin…how? “
“He knew…about what the rumor I helped spread…yesterday.” He looked shifty.
“Oh well, whatever.”
He couldn’t see Konan anywhere in the room, but he heard a roaring noise come from one of the rooms and a door creaked. He moved into action fast.
“Somebody grab Deidara quickly!!”
They were too late. Konan shot into the room, and began to sound off.
“WHO TOOK MY FLOWER?! AND WHO PUT A GIANT MAGNET ON THE CEILING OF PEIN-SAMS ROOM? HE’S STUCK TO THE CEILING YOU BASTARDS!”
As people began to whisper ‘What was she doing In Pein’s room, anyway?’ she breathed heavily, then looked around and saw Deidara cowering behind the sofa, wearing only a towel and with his hair loose. She began to drool. Painful noises started, then stopped, and Pein appeared through the same doorway Konan had, clutching his face.
“Who dib dhis? Dhis id a war act against de Akatsudi!” he could barely speak for the swelling he had gained ripping his face from his ceiling. Kisame stepped forward.
“Not sure leader, you all seem to have been pranked so I guess it’s either me, Zetsu or Tobi.”
As he said this, Deidara sidled up to him, wincing as he saw where Konans eyes were going, and whispered,
“So is it true about you and the guppy, hm?”
“What???”
“Hunh. Id would apbear that we hab all been pranked, then. Abart from Tobi and Zetsu…”
They all turned to look at the previously unnoticed man in the orange mask who was sitting innocently in the corner.
“Why is everybody looking at Tobi? Tobi is a good boy!” he radiated blissful stupidity.
“It’s okay Pein-sama. I think he probably has a negative I.Q. He couldn’t do something like this, hm…”
As he said these words, there was a yawn was heard, and the last door opened. As Zetsu wandered into the room, they took in his appearance. He was wearing an ‘I am Jashin’ shirt, and had Konan’s flower stuck to his head. His hands were stained purple as if he had recently been handling dye.
“Uh, hey guys.” he stammered under a fiery death glare. The room heated up like one of the pits of hell.
“Let’s get the fu-ARGH! – in’ weed whacker…” growled Hidan.